Fear Itself
by becky69lu
Summary: Standing in the doorway of the barn was Peridot. She looked all too excited like usual, but instead of being small she was much taller than before. Her detached fingers making over dramatic hand movements as she stared at her. And all Lapis could do was freeze.


Peridot fell, tripped, and almost shot at nothing all while walking back to the barn. Being 3 feet taller than before, everything felt surreal. She really did get her enhancers back, the gems really did trust her. It made her feel warm to have such trust placed upon her. The Crystal Gems had their laughs and giggles watching Peri get used to the tech that had been lost to her for months.

The only person who hadn't seen her yet was Lapis. Peridot grinned at the thought of the blue gem. She was going to enjoy being the taller one now, and hopefully Lapis would get some kicks out of it too.

Rather than flying to the barn, she decided on walking in order to get used to the heavy metalic limbs again. (Also that she was afraid of flying directly into something. Being poofed wasn't fun the first time around, she didn't want to have it happen again.) She approached the large doors, opening them with ease.

"Hey Lapis!" Peridot shouted with excitement.

She heard shuffling from the upper levels before hearing a voice. "Yeah?"

"Come down here I want to show you something!"

A few moments later a blue figure appeared from the upper level of the barn, dropping down to the bottom with her wings. Peridot grinned brightly. "Isn't this cool?! Steven told me they lost my enhancers but they didn't! The Crystal Gems dropped them in the waters of the homeworld warp pad! They really do trust us, isn't this great?" Peridot made sure to make over dramatic hand movements with her enhancers while describing the days events.

Not once did she notice the look in Lapis' eyes while speaking. She finally stopped talking and met Lapis' eyes. Lapis refused to speak, her mouth in a frown. "Hey, is everything okay?" Peridot asked. She frowned. Maybe Lapis was thinking about Malachite again. Peridot often helped her with that.

She took a step forward to comfort her friend for whatever was troubling her, as Lapis took one back. She couldn't ignore the stab she felt in her chest. Did Peridot do something wrong? "Lapis are you okay? What happened?" She was oblivious to the fear in her eyes until it presented itself to her. When Peridot reached out her detached fingers to touch Lapis, she let out a cry and covered her face with her arms.

'Oh.'

It was her fault. She made Lapis afraid. Peridot quickly moved her arm back like she'd been burned. She backed up for good measure. "Lapis please look at me." She made sure to speak in a warm light tone as to not scare her away.

Lapis did so, removing her arms slowly with a light whimper. "Can you tell me whats wrong? I want to help you, I don't want to scare you." Peridot sat down so Lapis wouldn't be afraid of her touching her.

"You." Lapis said in almost a whisper. This only comfirmed Peridots thoughts. She frowned in response. "You're afraid of my limb enhancers. I'll take them off if you want me to." Lapis nodded quickly.

Using one of her detached fingers, she clicked a trigger point on her right limb enhancer. This caused it to fall to the ground, the fingers rolling into oblivion. She did the same with the left enhancer and the leg enhancers. Once they were off, she stood up with a frown.

Everything was larger than her once again. Her eyes shifted to Lapis, who was standing with regular posture now with a nod to her short companion. "Thank you." She spoke in a monotone voice.

Peridot walked slowly over to Lapis, in case she was still afraid. Lapis still stood normally which was a good sign. She wrapped her short arms around Lapis' waist gently. "Are you okay?" She asked. Lapis smiled down at her with a nod. She crouched down so she could wrap her long blue arms around Peridot too. They sat like that for a minute, in a warm friendly embrace.

"Lapis can I ask why you're afraid of them..? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I just would like to know." She made sure to add in the last part in case she sounded too demanding. She didn't like seeing her best friend so affected by her.

Lapis glared at her for a moment before sighing. She leaned out the embrace and sat fully on the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs. "You've shown me who you really are Peridot. Over these months we've spent together, you've shown me how much you've changed and I accepted your apology for..before." She started.

"But all of this happened in your real form. Your real height. Seeing you..tall again triggered memories from before the barn. Before you were..different." Lapis spoke lightly in a small frown.

Peridot rested a hand on her knee in comfort. "I understand. I'm sorry that I gave you flashbacks. I'm also sorry...for before. I know I never gave you a proper apology for what happened. I realize now that my previous apology was insensitive." Lapis looked up at Peridot, her eyes in disbelief.

"I'll be honest with you Lapis. If our mission had been successful and we made it back to homeworld, I wouldn't have been sorry. I wouldn't have cared that we locked you away with the Crystal Gems or dragged you back to Earth. I would've just continued on being another Peridot, following orders and obeying even if something wasn't right." Lapis' eyes quickly darkened at her speech, but Peridot continued anyways.

"Thats the beauty of Earth though. It can change you. Where in the past I would've been stoic and a homeworld gem, I now can live to be who I want to be. How I am now, is what I've always truly been. Homeworld just hid ourselves, from ourselves. Made us into something we're not. Especially living here with you Lapis has been an amazing experience. I've gotten to do what I want to do, be who I want, and make great friends who otherwise would've hated me!" Peridot laughed at the last part.

"I'll be honest with you, I'm not sorry for bringing you back here because otherwise I wouldn't have gotten to know you like I do now. But what I am sorry for, is how I treated you. I treated you like you were a worthless gem, but you are so much more. I know that now. I just wish I knew that then too. Maybe I could've been the one to prevent Malachite. I was just too selfish." Peridot knew it was touchy to bring up Malachite, but couldn't help it. She was sharing her thoughts and gulit with her best friend.

She glanced up at Lapis who had wide eyes and a light blush on her cheeks. "I'm sorry." Peridot finished her speech.

It was silent for a few moments, Peridot wondering if she went too overboard bringing up Malachite when she was scooped up into a hug. "Thank you Peridot." Lapis said. Although her voice was monotone, she could tell it was laced with warmth. She smiled and leaned into Lapis' touch, her arms wrapping around her neck.

"Thank you for giving me another chance." Peridot replied into her hair.

Lapis leaned back from the contact, but kept Peridot in her lap. "If you want to wear your enhancers you can. I'll just have to learn to get used to it." Peridot smiled brightly. "Really?" She asked. Lapis chuckled and nodded.

"I'll be honest with you though since you were with me. I like you better short." Peridots face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh? Why?" She thought her short self was quite useless and got in everyones way, so she was confused on how Lapis could like her height.

"I don't know..You're just more...cute I guess.." Lapis mumbled the last part, but it was music to Peridots ears.

"What was that Lapis Lazuli?" Peridot grinned. Lapis shot her daggers. She chuckled in response.

"I'll admit I've grown fond of feeling things, but I don't want to be useless either." She hummed to herself for a moment. "I've got it! I'll just wear them for missions! My limb enhancers are quite useful in times of need like that." She nodded to herself believing it was a brilliant idea.

Lapis smiled, touching Peridots shoulder. "Works for me."

Peridot neatly put her limb enhancers in a far corner of the barn where the elements wouldn't reach them. They then proceeded to spend the day watching Camp Pining Hearts, sitting far too closely together. They just liked the touch.


End file.
